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Friday, January 25, 2019

I shut my alarm off and rub my eyes, I’m awake and it’s a new day!  I’m happy, optimistic and eager to get moving, believing that today, I can do anything!  I sit up, swing my legs out of bed and place my feet on the floor, and in that moment…. sigh, I am reminded of my reality. I reach for my walker, and if my legs say "not today", I’m forced to reach for my chair.  I slowly make my way to the bathroom. Every step reminding me of my limitations. I look in the mirror and I am flooded with the notion that I did this, and quite honestly that sucks. My mind goes rampant, questions popping in and out of my head, the most prevalent question -“but why?” Living with the repercussions of my actions are in my every...

Thursday, October 18, 2018

It's been a while since I've written anything. I've been very busy these last few months. Aside from my usual therapy schedule, I started online college classes, I got my drivers' license, I suffered from a few health issues, and I had surgery a few weeks ago. All the while I've been battling some inner demons along the way.

I want to share with you a short story and I hope that it will resonate with you as the experience itself has with me. 

This past Monday morning, as I was walking into therapy, looking down at my feet watching my steps, I noticed a bee right where I was placing my foot. I bent down to get a closer look and realized that the bee was dead. You're thinking, so what a dead insect, right? But...

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

What would life be like without seasons?  Everything remaining the same; no death, no new growth.  I feel like the seasons of life are always changing for everyone else. But for me, I seem to just stay stuck in this one season; this one very long season. You know in movies when there's one person standing still and everything around them is moving so fast its all a blur, and you can hardly make out where they are? That's exactly how I've been feeling, like everything and everyone around me is moving in fast forward and I'm stuck on pause.  My friends are starting college, traveling  or starting new jobs. Everyone is moving on to the next phase of their lives, and me... well I'm still here, just trying to re...

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Remorseful, Discouraged, Resentful, Afraid, Undeserving, Hesitant, Anxious, Insecure, Nervous, Fearful, Tearful, Inhibited, Exposed, Stuck, Stunned, Replenished, Joyful, Hopeful, Grateful, Loved, Rejuvenated, Saved.   Allof thesewords describe me in some way; each a part of who I AM. 

I Am.. Remorseful for my actions.  When I look back to my past, the saying 'forgive and forget' comes to mind. I think back to the way my mind used to operate, and I can honestly say that at times, I am dumbfounded.  All those things that I thought were important, those decisions that I made for fear of missing out or fitting in or pleasing others don't even cross my mind anymore. I have to admit that I am a little em...

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